you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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