I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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