Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
