smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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