What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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