I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
