I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize