okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
