The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
