you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
