Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize