sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
