At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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