I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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