if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
