Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Houston, we have a squirter
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
