He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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