im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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