I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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