go do what you do best...puke behind churches
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
