i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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