mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ketchup is God's man juice
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
NoShamevember. You game?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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