I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
