I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
