Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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