Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
