you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
