Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
