dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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