I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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