went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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