forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
