I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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