Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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