Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
