I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
