I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
