my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im holly from the hills drunk
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
