If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
