I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
