Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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