Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize