It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
