we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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