Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think people are normalizing furries
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
