Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
