apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize