Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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