lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
