I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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