Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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