Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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