Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
