do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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