omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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