So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize